Sugar Secrets…& Guilt Read online

“Well, you know how I was down at my dad’s this weekend?”

  “Joe, of course!” Maya exclaimed, feeling bad that she’d been so wrapped up in herself that she’d forgotten about her friend’s important return-to-the-scene-of-the-crime. “Kerry told me about the driving. How did it go?”

  “All right,” said Joe, pulling a face and wobbling his hand out in front of him.

  “A bit nerve-racking then?”

  “Yeah-still, I guess it’s good to get back into it. But that’s not my good news…”

  “Come on, then-spill!” beamed Maya.

  “My dad’s asked me to be his best man-him and Gillian are getting married!”

  “Oh, Joe-that’s brilliant! Are you pleased?”

  Maya could tell that he was-and that was a real turnaround from the animosity he’d felt for his father less than a year ago.

  “Mmm, I s’pose I am. Except for the idea of getting up and making a speech, of course…”

  “Joe, you’ll be brilliant. Your dad’ll be so proud of you!” said Maya, putting her arm in his and giving it a squeeze.

  He felt a blush flood his cheeks and was almost relieved to see Maya’s front gate come into view.

  “Listen, I’ll tell you more about this later. You go and… sort out whatever you’ve got to sort out,” he mumbled.

  Maya hugged his arm again, knowing she’d embarrassed him.

  “Joe, you’re a real mate, and don’t let anyone tell you different!” she said, giving him a swift peck on the cheek, before disappearing up the path.

  Joe shuffled off in the direction of the End, his eyes fixed on the pavement, his cheeks pinker than ever, and an awkward grin on his face.

  CHAPTER 11

  NOT SO SUNNY NOW…

  “Well, how’s my girl? Not down at that café with your friends today?”

  Maya shook her head, still smiling at the sight of Joe’s pink cheeks a moment before, and dumped her bag by the kitchen door. Brigid, who helped out at the Joshis from after school until early evening, was fitting new batteries in Ravi’s light sabre-he’d slept with it on all night-and was just screwing the top back on.

  “There you go!” smiled Brigid, wafting the toy back and forth, in the best Obi-Wan-Kenobi style.

  “I didn’t know that was in your job description,” joked Maya as Ravi cheered and ran off brandishing his sabre, in hot pursuit of an alarmed-looking Marcus.

  “Picking up children from school, overseeing homework, cooking an evening meal, fixing light sabres… Oh, yes, it’s all down on my CV!”

  Brigid brushed back a stray curl of grey hair and returned to the chopping board.

  Seizing her chance to ask Brigid’s advice on what was happening in her life, Maya poked her head into the hall to check that the coast was clear, then closed the kitchen door for privacy.

  “Oh, yes, missy-and what are you about to tell me?” said Brigid, glancing over in Maya’s direction.

  Tucking her shiny, dark curtains of hair behind her ears, Maya couldn’t resist a shy little smile.

  “I’ve got a boyfriend,” she said simply.

  “Have you now? Isn’t that lovely?” Brigid exclaimed, laying down her knife and turning to face Maya.

  It was only when Maya didn’t respond, and the quivering smile faded, that Brigid realised that all was not well.

  “Would I be right in guessing that your parents are less than pleased at the news then?”

  That’s what Maya loved about the older woman. Brigid acted like the auntie or grandma you could turn to when you couldn’t talk to your parents. In her case, she knew that as loyal as Brigid was to the whole family, Brigid understood that Maya’s position as eldest child was sometimes hard work; somehow Sunny and Ravi got a much easier deal in the strict Joshi household.

  And right now, Maya was dying to tell Brigid just who that boyfriend was; it had been Brigid’s idea that Maya should join the photography club in the first place. She’d never believe what that had ultimately led to…

  “Mum doesn’t know yet-Dad’s gone mad at me and says that we’ve got to have a big talk about it when Mum gets back.”

  “Ah, well, now-that’s gives you some time to turn yourself into a defence lawyer then, doesn’t it?”

  “What do you mean?” asked Maya.

  “You need to build a case! Use the next few days to think about the arguments your parents are going to throw at you and be ready with an answer to everything. That is, of course, if this boy’s worth fighting for…”

  “Oh yes, he’s worth it-I’m pretty sure of that. But I don’t know if you could strictly call him a boy,” Maya smiled, biting her lip. “The thing is, Brigid, he’s—”

  “He’s twenty-seven. I heard,” interrupted Sunny.

  Neither Maya nor Brigid had noticed her slither into the room with her customary stealth.

  “What’s this now?” asked Brigid, looking from one sister to the other.

  “I heard Sonja talking and she said that Maya’s boyfriend was ten years older than Maya. And I told Daddy,” said Sunny smugly.

  “Is this right, Maya?”

  Maya nodded silently, trying to read the expression on the Irish woman’s face. It seemed stony: surely she couldn’t be annoyed with Maya, without hearing all the facts? Not that Maya wanted to spill them now; not with Sunny draped across the kitchen unit, ready to soak up the glory of having outed her big sister.

  “I’m terribly disappointed, I have to say,” muttered Brigid.

  A sharp pain stabbed at Maya’s chest-she couldn’t bear her older friend’s disapproval.

  “But Brigid-it’s not like it sounds…” she began to explain, faltering as her mind raced, trying to figure out how she could explain things without giving Sunny any more ammunition.

  “Maya, I’m not entirely sure I’d be very happy if my niece Ashleigh came to me and announced she was seeing a grown man ten years older than her,” interrupted Brigid.

  The comparison was a little too close to home for Maya: Ashleigh also attended Alex’s photography club. Maya bit her lip hard.

  “Still,” Brigid continued, “I know you’re a sensible girl, Maya, and I’d like to hear your side of things.”

  Maya was confused. A moment ago Brigid had seemed so stern; now she was talking in almost her normal, reasoned tone of voice.

  “I thought… I thought you just said you were disappointed in me?” Maya ventured, trying to get her head straight.

  “Maya, I’m hardly jumping for joy, but it’s not you I’m disappointed in,” said the Irishwoman, switching her gaze from the older to the younger of the Joshi sisters. “No, what’s really disappointed me here is your attitude, Sunita.”

  Maya looked as stunned as her younger sister. Sunny had a talent for acting sweet and angelic around the adults in the house, saving her snidey side for Maya alone. No one ever told Sunny off.

  “Here you are, nearly fourteen, and you’re running round telling tales like you’re a small child and have no other choice!”

  “But I knew Mummy and Daddy wouldn’t like it!” Sunny protested, her smug look lost and her bottom lip trembling.

  “That’s as maybe and yes, they would have to be told sometime. But have you no love or loyalty for your sister here, Sunny?” said Brigid firmly. “After all the years she’s spent helping you with your homework and looking after you and your brother? Could you not at least have done her the courtesy of talking to her about what you’d heard first-giving her the chance to tell her side-before you made up your mind what to do?”

  Maya sat stock-still, overcome with seeing fair play happen for once. Then a sniffle from her sister made her pleasure turn to guilt.

  “Ah, now, come on,” said Brigid, striding over and hugging a tearful Sunny in her arms. “I’m not meaning to have a go, my sweetheart, I just think you’ve got to be more thoughtful when it comes to your sister. You girls are getting to be young ladies and you should be friends, not bickering around like little ones. Is that not so,
Maya?”

  “Yes, yes, of course,” agreed Maya, grateful for Brigid’s words and feeling her own heart-which had hardened against her sister’s sneakiness and sniping over the last year or so-start to soften.

  The softening halted rapidly as soon as she saw Sunny’s dark almond eyes flash her a look of pure, unadulterated hatred over Brigid’s shoulder…

  CHAPTER 12

  ALARM CALL

  “Cat? Are you there? Pick up the phone if you are… Cat?”

  Vikki’s husky voice warbled on the answerphone, something Cat couldn’t ever imagine it doing in real life.

  We’ll have to get a new tape for that machine, she thought vacantly, trying to block out her friend’s voice.

  “Cat? It’s Vik. Where are you, girl? You haven’t been at college all week, nobody on your course has heard from you, and I’m starting to get seriously worried here!”

  For a second, Cat’s hand hovered over the receiver. Maybe it would be good to tell everything to Vikki, she thought. Maybe, if I could tell her what happened. I’d feel better. Maybe…

  The thought of actually speaking, of letting it all out, made her feel numb. She couldn’t think straight; a whole jumble of mad feelings-fear, guilt, shame, shock-swamped her head. They caught in her throat in a big, scared lump which made her want to hide away and not talk about it. To anyone.

  If she didn’t say anything, maybe she could believe that nothing had happened…

  A sudden laugh drew her attention back to the answerphone.

  “Hey, I know!” cackled Vikki. “Donna was saying you were top at pulling on Saturday night: you haven’t run off with some love-god you met at that club, have you?”

  “I wish…” muttered Cat, staring at the machine as she felt another wave of self-doubt wash over her.

  “Well, listen, babes, whatever-call me soon. It’s, uh, let’s see… about 9 o’clock, Wednesday night. Call me!”

  Dropping down on to the sofa, Cat exhaled a long breath she hadn’t realised she was holding and let her head flop back. She lifted one foot up and let it crash on to the coffee table, unaware of the empty crisp packets that were swept to the floor by the motion. Diet Coke, black coffee and Quavers were all she’d been able to face for the last few days, and now the living room was littered with the empties.

  Her hand padded around on the cushions beside her, trying to locate her cigarette packet.

  God-how much of a rant would I get off my mates if they could see the ashtray now? she wondered absently, aware of how much her habit had escalated over the past few traumatic days of self-imposed isolation. In fact, the only time she’d been out of the house during the last three days-four, if you counted Sunday-was to buy Coke, crisps and cigarettes from her local newsagent.

  At last, her hand located the packet, but she immediately knew from the weight that it was empty.

  Cat sat up with a groan. She’d have to go outside-to the garage along the road-if she wanted more cigarettes. But she didn’t know if she could face it.

  She walked over to the window of the third floor flat and gazed out into the drizzly darkness with a shudder. It was the same kind of night as Saturday had been… who might be waiting outside for her, lurking in the shadows?

  This is stupid. It’s doing my head in. I’ve got to talk to someone! But who? Cat fretted, biting at a rag nail.

  Sonja: but maybe Sonja will only tell me I had it coming. She slags me off often enough for what I wear and for flirting too much.

  After a pause to think, Cat walked out of the living room, crossed the hall and went into her bedroom. Swallowing, she scooped up her mobile phone from the chest of drawers and pressed a button to activate a keyed-in number.

  “Engaged!” she mumbled to herself, chucking the phone down on to her bed. She didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed.

  Sloping back out into the hall, she caught sight of her mum’s long, navy blue coat hanging on the rail.

  Nobody would look my way if I went out in that, with an umbrella pulled down around my face too, she decided, her heart fluttering as her eyes searched out her old trainers on the shoe rack. And if the phone’s engaged, at least that means she’s in…

  Before she could change her mind, Cat grabbed her keys and got ready to leave the flat.

  CHAPTER 13

  STRANGER IN THE NIGHT

  Maya bit her lip. She’d been doing that a lot lately and it was starting to hurt.

  “Um, so, Andy.” she said casually, flipping open the back of her camera and pulling out the rewound film. “Billy not coming again tonight?”

  Andy shook his head. “Nope. I saw him at band rehearsal yesterday and he said he wasn’t sure if he could make it.”

  Tuesday was band rehearsal night-in the back room of Ollie’s parents’ pub. So Billy was showing for that and, of course, The Loud’s regular gig on Thursdays; but he certainly wasn’t turning up at the café so much (Kerry had told her so on Sunday) and he was downright invisible at Wednesday’s photography club.

  “Andy, can I ask you something?” Maya dropped her voice, checking that none of the others busying themselves in the breeze-block hut could hear. Luckily, Alex always had a battered radio playing loudly in the corner during photography club.

  “Sure,” nodded Andy, his straight, black hair flopping around his face as he did so.

  “Does it bother you? You… you know what I mean?!” Her eyes widened, saying it all.

  “No, of course not!” Andy assured her.

  “Well, what about Billy? I’ve hardly seen him since…”

  “Nah! Why would it?”

  Maya could tell from Andy’s open, honest expression that he knew nothing about Billy ever fancying her. In one way, that was a relief, but in another, it was a pity-it would’ve been good to get an insight into what might be going on with Billy. He’d been really distant the last couple of times their paths had crossed in the End.

  Maybe I’ll hint to Ollie or Joe-see if they know anything. Maya thought to herself.

  “Andy? That’s Jane and Ashleigh both finished in the darkroom now, if you want to jump in,” came Alex’s deep Scottish burr.

  “Cool,” nodded Andy, giving Maya a quick smile and a shrug before disappearing into the red-lit room.

  “Got time to hang around with me after class?” Alex asked in a lowered voice.

  “Yes please,” she whispered.

  The last thing Maya was in a hurry to do was rush home to a house filled with people not talking to her. Sunny’s pointed silence she could handle, but her dad’s tight-lipped sternness was giving her a headache. In a way, she was quite looking forward to her mum coming home tomorrow and the outburst that would inevitably follow; a bit like a welcome thunder storm clearing the air after a sticky, unbearable, humid spell.

  “Good-then you can tell me whatever’s going on in that mind of yours,” Alex muttered quietly.

  Maya found herself smiling; even though she was trying to keep her thoughts to herself, he’d seen-with those soul-searching, deep-set grey eyes of his-that something was up.

  Is this boy worth it? she remembered Brigid saying.

  Definitely, Maya answered herself.

  “Vikki? Hi!” said Sonja with some surprise.

  When her mother had shouted that someone was on the phone for her, the last person she’d expected was Cat’s mate from college.

  “Sorry to bother you, Sonja-I got your number out of the directory. Actually, you’re the third Harvey I’ve tried tonight!”

  “Third time lucky,” said Sonja, leaning forward on her bed and pressing the mute button on her TV remote to hear better. “So, what’s up?”

  “Nothing, hopefully. Is Cat with you?”

  “No, she’s not. Did she tell you she was planning on coming over?”

  “No… it’s just that I’ve been trying to get in touch with her. Lots of stuff’s going on with the drama review we’re doing at the festival and she needs to know about it, but I haven’
t managed to get her at her flat-the answering machine’s permanently switched on and her mobile’s switched off. Then I remembered her saying that her mum was away and I wondered if she was staying with you.”

  “Wait… so you’re saying that she hasn’t been at college?”

  “Nope, not so far this week.”

  Sonja felt a twang of concern. Cat was more than capable of looking after herself, but it only struck her now that none of the crowd had seen or heard from her cousin since Saturday lunch time at the End. Kerry had only been saying earlier how weird it was that she hadn’t turned up to brag about her big night out.

  “Have you spoken to anyone on her course?”

  “Yeah,” Vikki replied. “I ran into one of the girls in the corridor today and she says that no one’s heard from her since they were all out together on Saturday night.”

  Sonja fell silent. She felt guilty that it hadn’t crossed her mind once to call her cousin in the last few days, while she’d been all alone. Now maybe she was ill or in some kind of trouble…

  Sonja’s father came out of the kitchen.

  “Well, there’s a lukewarm cup of coffee by the sink, so that’s a good sign, I suppose.”

  Sonja felt marginally relieved. Since Vikki’s call, she’d tried dialling Cat’s mobile as well as her home phone with no luck. In a sudden panic, she’d alerted her mum and dad and, within fifteen minutes, the three of them had arrived at the mansion block where Sylvia and Cat lived.

  With no response to their repeated rings on the buzzer, the Harveys let themselves in to the third-floor flat with the spare keys they always held for emergencies.

  “Looks like she’s been living on a vitamin-free diet while her mum’s been away,” commented Helena Harvey, looking at the empty packets of Quavers and Diet Coke cans that littered the living room. “But at least they’re a sign that she’s been here recently and that she’s OK.”

  Tom Harvey strode past his wife and daughter and placed his hand on the side of the TV.

  “It’s still warm… she can’t have gone out that long ago.”

  Sonja’s eyes suddenly widened in alarm. “But what if it’s not her that had the coffee and watched the TV? What if someone else has been in here and done something to her?”