Sugar Secrets…& Guilt Read online

  “Wait a minute,” said Anna, a thought striking her. “Are you trying to say that the girls on your course might have thought you were asking for it?”

  “Uh-huh,” nodded Cat, her lip trembling uncontrollably. “They-they-hic-were teasing me a-a-about pulling lads and what I w- w- was dressed like all night.”

  “But, Cat, it’s crazy to think like that. You’re not telling me they were dressed in business suits and never talked to any boys at the club!” Anna reasoned. “And anyway, it doesn’t matter how you’re dressed, no one has the right to assault you!”

  Cat hid her face in her hands and sobbed some more.

  “Maybe it w-w-would be good if Mum wants to move away,” mumbled Cat. “Ev-ev-everyone thinks I’ve got this reputation. Hic. If I moved away, I could s-s-start again, where nobody knows me!”

  “Listen to me, Cat-it’s not your fault,” Anna said firmly, taking hold of Cat’s wrists and gently pulling her hands away from her face. “No one has the right to touch you or frighten you like that. Stop feeling guilty. Understand?”

  “But I can’t help feeling guilty. I wish I hadn’t been showing off so much and chatting up every bloke then he might not have spotted me and decided to—”

  “Cat…” Anna stopped her. “Everyone has things they wish had been different. Don’t give yourself a hard time of it.”

  “But you’re so sussed and calm about everything, Anna. When did you ever do anything you wish you could change?”

  Anna’s heart missed a beat. So far, no one knew the real reason she’d come to Winstead; the real reason she’d got as far as her cash and a train ticket would take her from home. Maybe, for Cat’s, sake, it was time to tell.

  “You know what I used to think?” she began.

  Cat shook her head and gazed at Anna with brimming eyes

  “I used to think that women who stayed with husbands who beat them up were mugs. Total mugs. And then I met David… He had this bad boy tag-no one had a good thing to say about him. But I thought he was sweet inside, deep down.”

  “You’ve never said anything about him before…” sniffed Cat, dabbing at her reddened nose.

  “‘Cause it’s not exactly a happy memory for me,” Anna shrugged. “He was kind and funny at first, and then he started to turn on me, telling me I was ugly, telling me I was useless, chipping away at my confidence. He made me totally miserable. But I stayed with him for a long time. Far too long… And eventually he threatened me…”

  “He threatened you?”

  Anna nodded. “I knew then it was time to leave.”

  Cat’s eyes were huge, her own misery temporarily cast aside in the light of Anna’s story.

  “And so you came here, to get away from him?”

  Anna hesitated; there was more to the story, but this wasn’t the time or the place to go into it.

  “Kind of,” Anna replied. “We’d, uh, already split up before I left home, but I felt like I just needed a fresh start.”

  “Oh, Anna!” said Cat, leaning forward to hug her.

  “Maybe we both just need to get smarter, huh, Cat?” Anna smiled as she hugged her friend back.

  “How?” asked Cat, straightening up, but still holding on to her friend’s hand.

  “I guess we’ve both just got to see things clearer. Like, in future,” Anna raised her free hand, “I promise not to kid myself that someone’s nice deep down, just because I want them to be.”

  Cat raised her own hand enthusiastically, then looked pleadingly at Anna.

  “What should I promise?”

  “Um, what about this… you won’t stop having fun-but you will learn to have a bit more savvy.”

  “What-you mean, so I could spot someone like that guy who came after me?”

  “Not necessarily,” Anna shook her head. “That was just random; he could have picked on any girl to hassle. I just mean, don’t let yourself be vulnerable. Realise that not everything in the big, wide world is simple and not everyone out there is a good guy.”

  “Sounds very grown-up,” said Cat meekly.

  Anna gave her warm smile. “Well, I suppose we’re both big girls now…”

  Cat managed a watery smile in return.

  “Right!” said Anna, suddenly springing to her feet and walking off towards a wall cupboard. “Now promise me something else.”

  “What? Ooof!” Cat caught a pillow in her arms.

  “Promise me you’ll stay over, Cat,” replied Anna, hauling out a duvet and bundling it on the sofa. “I don’t want you home alone tonight!”

  Cat gazed around Anna’s warm, cosy room, draped in colourful throws and Indian silks and scattered with fat, comfy cushions. Then she thought of the empty flat she’d left earlier, and shivered.

  “You’re on!” she nodded, gratefully.

  “One final promise…” said Anna, going over and taking her friend’s hand.

  Cat blinked her red-rimmed eyes at her.

  “Promise me, first thing tomorrow, you’ll get in touch with the police,” urged Anna. “It’s the right thing to do.”

  Cat gulped, and nodded. “I promise,” she whispered.

  CHAPTER 16

  BEST OF FRIENDS

  “God, I wish-I wish I could get my hands on that guy!” growled Matt.

  He’d been incensed when he heard what had happened to Cat. Like the others, he’d been worried when Sonja had called him the night before about getting in touch if he saw or heard from Cat. When Cat had appeared in the End that morning, after a night spent on Anna’s sofa, the news had slowly spread to the crowd that she was all right, but had been through a terrible time.

  “Get in the queue, Matt,” said Ollie, raising his eyebrows.

  All the boys in The Loud were now sitting glumly around the pub table, feeling a mixture of anger and helplessness at what had happened to their friend.

  “It could have been worse!” exclaimed Billy. “I mean, what if she’d been—”

  “Don’t,” said Ollie, holding his hand up.

  It was bad enough knowing what Cat had gone through and how much it had frightened her. There was no point in freaking themselves all out with ‘what ifs…’

  “He might have just been some completely drunken bum who was off his head, leching after her and taking it way too far,” Joe shrugged, trying to get things into perspective.

  “Maybe if he’d done that inside the club, it would have been one thing: she could have just slapped him or something, or asked the doormen to get rid of him.” Andy chipped in. “It’s just the idea of him deliberately following her down that alley…”

  “Well, look, at least Cat’s OK,’ said Ollie, trying to be positive. “And Anna says she went and reported it to the police this afternoon-Sonja’s mum went with her. But the main thing is, we should all try and cheer her up tonight, yeah? And we’re not going to do that by looking like this!”

  Ollie pointed at his own hangdog expression, then swept his finger around the table at the others.

  “Yeah, you’re right,” mumbled Billy as the others nodded their agreement.

  “And listen, why don’t we change the set list around; just play the really upbeat numbers? I don’t feel like the slow stuff would help the mood much, do you?”

  Joe, who’d written all the slow numbers, had to agree.

  “Uh, Watching You From A Distance wouldn’t be too appropriate, would it?” he agreed and watched the other boys wince.

  Watching… was just one of the many songs Joe had written about his unrequited love for Kerry-not that anyone but him knew that. But the sweet message behind the words-of watching, waiting and wondering if the main character should make a move on the girl-could easily be misinterpreted in the light of what had happened to Cat.

  “So she’s definitely all right to come tonight?” asked Matt.

  Ollie was quite touched to see how concerned his friend was. After a short relationship and a long and messy break-up, Matt and Catrina had fallen into a pattern of sniping a
t each other in a way that usually seemed jokey but occasionally edged towards bitterness in their mates’ eyes. Seeing how this whole thing had affected Matt showed Ollie without a doubt that the friendship ran deeper than it sometimes appeared.

  “Definitely. She stayed over at Anna’s last night, but she’s going to Sonja’s for the next few days, till her mum’s back on Sunday night,” said Ollie, recounting what Anna had told him earlier. “Kerry and Anna were going round to Son’s to get ready and to lend Cat a bit of moral support.”

  “Look,” Joe motioned with his head towards the door of the Railway Tavern, “here they come now!”

  Ollie smiled broadly and waved the girls over.

  “OK, lads,” he muttered, without losing his smile, “remember, sympathetic, but upbeat!”

  Along with the rest of the boys, Ollie was relieved to see that Cat looked pretty much herself; her blonde hair blow-dried to perfection, make-up in place, as usual.

  As the girls joined them, there was a scuffle of extra stools being dragged round the table and Cat was quickly swallowed up in a bundle of hugs and “How are you?”s from the boys.

  “Are you sure you’re OK?” Matt asked, leaning across the table and fixing his eyes on hers.

  Normally, such a combination of male attention and affection would have kick-started one of two reactions from Cat: either her automatic flirt pilot would be activated or she’d come flying back with a sarcastic put-down.

  Today, she did neither.

  “I’m fine, Matt, honest,” she smiled softly. “I just got a bit of a scare, that’s all. I wasn’t hurt or… anything.”

  Matt’s eyes flickered down to his friend’s nervously fidgeting fingers. She was picking at the sticking plasters on the palm of one hand with the nails of the other.

  “Were the police all right? Can they get this guy? Maybe he’ll be on surveillance cameras on the door of the club…”

  “They were really kind,” she nodded. “They’ve passed my report on to the police station in the city. I’ve got to go up tomorrow and speak to someone there.”

  “But why didn’t you tell us sooner, Cat?” asked Ollie.

  “I don’t know. I was in shock, I guess,” Cat replied, her eyes darting between the concerned faces of her friends. “And then, it’s like Aunt Helena said, I just got myself more in a state because I didn’t tell anyone.”

  “Can you believe that this girl thought I’d give her a hard time about what happened?” said Sonja incredulously to the lads, while wrapping a protective arm round her cousin.

  “Well…” shrugged Cat with an awkward, slightly embarrassed smile.

  “As if I’d ever be rotten about you!” Sonja exclaimed indignantly, her blue eyes wide.

  A hush fell over the table.

  “Anyway!” said Ollie quickly, trying to cover up everyone’s loss for words. “Has everyone heard Kerry’s brilliant news?”

  Kerry beamed as her boyfriend grabbed her hand. In the light of what had happened to Cat, she couldn’t be as happy as she might have been, but she was so relieved that she’d finally told Ollie about her college place. He was thrilled that she’d be studying so close to home, and apart from acting mildly surprised, hadn’t given her a hard time at all about the risky business of only applying to one course.

  As her friends gasped and congratulated her, Kerry only wished Maya was here to be part of it all. But Maya, she knew, was too busy facing a firing squad back home…

  “Cutting it a bit fine tonight, aren’t you?” said Derek, the owner of the Railway Tavern, as he glanced at his watch. “You’re due on in a minute.”

  Billy looked at the bottles of water Derek had stacked up on the bar for the lads to take on stage with them and wondered how he could carry them all and the beer Matt had asked for, and the Coke for Cat.

  “Yeah, we’re heading backstage in a second. Been a lot of stuff going on,” he said by way of explanation, nodding back at the table his friends were sitting around.

  “Uh-huh. Looks like your manager’s too busy to notice the time either…”

  Billy followed Derek’s gaze and saw Nick merrily chatting up a giggling woman over at the far end of the bar.

  “Hey, what can you do when you’re that irresistible to the female sex?” joked Billy as he tried to scoop up all the drinks.

  “Need a hand?”

  Billy let go of two bottles of water, allowing Joe to grab them as they were about to slip from his fingers.

  “Ollie looks well chuffed, knowing Kez won’t be going too far for college,” he commented to Joe.

  Joe nodded.

  “Yep. I’m still waiting to see who offers me a place, but I’m not too bothered where I go,” shrugged Joe. “Just as long as it’s not too far away. I don’t want to give up the band completely.”

  “Wow!” said Billy. “I never thought of that!”

  “Well, there’s no point worrying about it till it happens,” mumbled Joe, shuffling his feet. “It’s not like it’s a big deal, not when you know what Cat went through, and what Maya must be going through right now.”

  “Maya?” Billy furrowed his brow. “What’s up with Maya? Where is she tonight?”

  “She’s at home-probably getting her head bitten off by her parents.”

  “How come?”

  “Over Alex. They found out. Her sister heard Sonja going on about it-Sonja feels terrible.”

  “God… poor Maya. Poor old Alex. What a mess.”

  “Yeah,” nodded Joe. “Hey…”

  He fidgeted slightly, then decided to dive right in and find out what was going on with Billy, for Maya’s sake.

  “…are you OK about the two of them being together?”

  Billy looked a little lost for words and pulled a face at him.

  “I dunno,” he said finally. “I mean, I suppose I am… but it’s done my head in a bit to see them together.”

  “Andy said you haven’t been to photography club lately. Maya’s been talking about it to him and Kerry.”

  “Yeah, I’ve skipped it the last couple of weeks.” Billy admitted, pulling another face. “Listen, I know it’s stupid, ‘cause it’s not like I’m lying in bed boo-hooing over this or anything. It’s just… well, I guess I just needed a bit of space away from them both till I got my head around it. You know what I mean?”

  “Yes, sure,” nodded Joe. “I just think Maya really worries that you’re missing out on the club and it’s all her fault.”

  “Does she?” asked Billy, looking genuinely surprised. “God, I don’t want her thinking that! Look, if you see her before I do, tell her I’ll be back next week and that’s a promise.”

  “Lads…”

  Both boys turned round at the sound of Derek’s voice from behind the bar. He was tapping his watch.

  “Yessir!” grinned Billy, then led Joe off towards their other friends.

  As they got up to the table, Billy looked over the top of Cat’s head at Ollie and Andy and tried to catch their eyes.

  “Oi!” he yelled good-naturedly at them, as he reached around Cat to put her Coke down on the table in front of her.

  But the shock of the shout and the male arms suddenly encompassing her took Cat by surprise.

  A sharp shock of déjà vu sent her jumping to her feet and crashing into Billy-spilling a sticky cascade of beer and Coke over everyone.

  CHAPTER 17

  CRUNCH TIME

  It was five to eight. Her mum had been in the house all of two minutes-had hardly put her bags down-and it had started already.

  For a second, Maya wished she was far away from all this, or even just a few streets away, in the the Railway Tavern, where her mates would be arriving soon to watch the band play their set.

  But no-this was her reality.

  “And I heard, Mummy! I heard Sonja say it!”

  Maya shot a look at her sister, who seemed desperate to fan the flames of her downfall. So much for Brigid’s efforts to get Sunny to see sense.

&
nbsp; “Sunny, darling, I know. Daddy told me in the car. Now go up to your room, please-we have to talk to your sister.”

  “Aww, can’t I stay?” Sunita pleaded with her mother.

  The muscles in Maya’s neck went taut with anger. It was all she could do not to tell Sunny where to go.

  This is my life here and she thinks it’s just a bit of entertainment! Maya ranted silently.

  “No, darling,” said her father firmly, ushering her out of the room and closing the door.

  She’ll be right on the other side listening, Maya knew, but what can I do?

  “So,” said Nina Joshi, looking stern in her business suit and swept-up hair. “You chose not to tell your father, but this can’t go on. Who is this man you’ve been seeing? And how long has it been going on?”

  Maya looked at her mother, then flipped her gaze towards her dad-taking in along the way a hurried glance at the clock on the mantelpiece.

  Come on, come on… she urged silently, seeing that it was bang on eight. Hurry up-I can’t hold them off any longer…

  “Well,” she began slowly, “his name is—”

  “I’ll get it!” Sunny’s voice peeled suspiciously close at hand, in response to the ring at the doorbell.

  Oh, thank you, Maya said to herself, feeling a wave of relief wash over her.

  “Who is it, Sunny?” her mum called out, rising to her feet and walking towards the living room door. But before she reached it, the door swung open and a perplexed Sunny was standing beside a tall, gangly young man, who immediately bounded forward into the room with his arm stretched out, ready to shake the hand of anyone who was willing to shake it back.

  “Mum, Dad-this is Alex,” said Maya, with the slightest of wobbles in her voice.

  Her parents sat straight-backed and straight-faced, but the strained tone in both their voices seemed to have softened, Maya noticed, since Alex’s arrival 20 minutes earlier.

  “And you’re from Glasgow, did you say, Alex? Did you train there?”

  “No, I trained in Edinburgh, actually, Mr Joshi. It was a great course, and it’s a beautiful city. Very inspiring for a budding photographer. Have you been there?”