Sugar Secrets…& Jealousy Read online

  As she watched him for a few moments, someone came up to the end of the table and her smile froze. It was Gabrielle. Anna felt an all-too familiar stab of jealousy and drew in a sharp breath. She stood watching as Gabrielle leaned forward and said something directly into Matt’s ear, then winced as the two of them laughed aloud in shared amusement. Anna felt her cheeks flush and the feeling of jealousy grew until it was throbbing through every part of her body.

  What’s he doing giggling with her, all nice and cosy, when he hasn’t spoken to me since Monday evening? she raged to herself, blindly ignoring the fact that she’d told him not to ring her at her mother’s for the first couple of days. Now it was obvious why he hadn’t rung - why on earth would he want to when he had Gabrielle to keep him company, and talk to him, and laugh with him, and… and…?

  At that moment Gabrielle glanced up and saw Anna peering intently through the window. Unsure how to react to the glowering face on the other side of the glass, she sort of half smiled and half waved, her mouth open as though she had cut herself off in mid sentence.

  Matt, swivelled round to see who Gabrielle was acknowledging. The curious look on his face turned to a big grin at the sight of his girlfriend - though was there a touch of sheepishness about his expression, Anna wondered?

  He rushed outside to give her a kiss as Gabrielle disappeared back into the kitchen. “Helloo!” he said, “I’ve missed you.”

  Yeah, right, Anna thought, turning her head away so that his kiss landed clumsily on the side of her face.

  At the obvious knock-back, Matt put his arms up defensively. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I’m just knackered,” she lied gruffly.

  “Oh, right. Of course. Uh… how’d it go with your mum?”

  “It was fine, Matt. Look, I have to go. I’ve got masses of washing and stuff to do. I’ll see you later, OK?”

  “OK,” said Matt, backing off. “Shall I call round later?”

  “Sure, whatever.” Anna thought for a moment. “Actually, no, I’ve got loads to do this evening too. I’ll just see you at the Railway Tavern. At the gig.”

  Anna turned away from him and stomped down the passage at the side of the End, leaving Matt feeling decidedly on edge.

  CHAPTER 14

  HITTING THE WRONG NOTE

  “Is it me or is there something up with Ollie tonight?”

  Sonja looked questioningly at Kerry, who was standing next to her in front of the stage in the Railway Tavern.

  Kerry nodded. Sonja was right, of course. Anyone who knew The Loud reasonably well would be able to tell that the lead singer was distracted, his mind not entirely on the job as he waded through their set. His singing was lifeless, he’d missed a couple of intros, and had hardly moved from the middle of the stage all night, whereas normally he’d be bouncing around exuberantly, all over the place.

  “He’s really worried about Natasha,” explained Kerry. “I think it must be getting to him to mess up like this.”

  The rest of the band seemed to be trying doubly hard to make up for Ollie’s shortcomings. But that wasn’t working either. It meant that the whole sound didn’t gel - it was all a bit of a mess. Some people had even left early, Kerry noticed, flinching as the outside door banged during an excruciatingly quiet moment. That was another thing - Ollie’s banter was off tonight too. So off, it was nonexistent.

  Kerry continued to watch her boyfriend up on stage, clearly not enjoying himself, and her mind turned to Natasha. She wondered what OIlie might find out tomorrow when he went to see her. Kerry hoped for his sake, as much as anyone else’s, that Natasha was all right.

  At the end of The Loud’s set, she waited hesitantly for the boys to come from back stage after they’d packed up. Though she would never admit it to OIlie, Kerry didn’t think they’d played such an average gig since they’d got this regular Thursday night slot at the Tavern. Although the audience had still clapped and cheered, the buzz that normally went around the place while the band was playing had been missing, and there were no encores. Kerry could understand why. She just hoped the three other guys in The Loud would.

  When they did finally appear, Kerry was relieved to see how magnanimous they were about Ollie’s plight. No one blamed him for mucking up. As Joe pointed out, “We all have a bad night at times, but when it’s the lead singer everyone notices.”

  “Thank God that’s over,” Ollie confided in Kerry. “I just couldn’t get it together tonight. At least tomorrow I can get to the bottom of things-or, at least, I hope I can.”

  “Mm,” said Kerry. “I wonder what’s been going on with Natasha. I hope it’s not something too awful.”

  “So do I,” Ollie agreed.

  “She’s bound to tell you,” Kerry replied confidently, although inside she was as nervous and uncertain as Ollie.

  “Anyway,” he said, “let’s change the subject - I’ve done enough worrying for one night.”

  “Poor Ol,” Kerry sympathised, ruffling his hair. Noticing the rest of the gang gathered by the bar she added, “Shall we go and see what the others are up to?”

  Ollie nodded, held her hand and gave it a squeeze. “Thanks,” he said.

  “For what?”

  “For being there when I need you.”

  As they wandered over to the others, Kerry noticed Matt was holding court, having everyone in stitches as he regaled them with a story about something that had happened earlier in the day. Everyone, that is, except Anna, who stood on the periphery looking stony-faced, although she occasionally cast a withering glance in her boyfriend’s direction. Suddenly a notion that had been bugging Kerry for a while struck her again. She decided to tackle Ollie about it.

  “Does Gabrielle actually know that Matt and Anna are an item?” she asked.

  Ollie shrugged. “I dunno,” he said vaguely. “She must do. Though… urn… actually, maybe she doesn’t.”

  “I just wondered if anyone had told her. Or if she already knew. And then I wondered if it’s affected Anna having Matt’s ex working alongside her?”

  Ollie nodded. “It might have, I guess.”

  “Hmmm. It must be strange for her.”

  “But I don’t think Matt’s in the slightest bit interested in Gabrielle now, do you?” Ollie raised his eyebrows questioningly at Kerry.

  “Aw, Ol, I don’t know,” she shrugged, remembering the cosy scene in the café. “I’m sure he isn’t. But they’ve been very friendly. If I was Anna, I might think he was still interested in her.”

  “So come on. Matt, tell me more about the gorgeous Gabrielle,” said Billy, rubbing his hands together and looking at Matt. He and the rest of the gang were sitting at a table, waiting for Anna and Andy to bring over more drinks from the bar. “I mean, you’re with Anna now, mate, aren’t you? You don’t mind if I’m interested.”

  “She’s too good for you, mate,” joked Matt. “My advice to you is, don’t even waste your time. I mean…”

  He looked around the group - making sure he had their full attention - and briefly wondered why Kerry was giving him the ‘if looks could kill’ treatment.

  “…Gabrielle’s a stunner,” he went on, “and there probably isn’t a guy in town who’s not interested in her—”

  “Except for Andy,” Cat interrupted gleefully.

  “Right. So what on earth would she want with a snot-nosed punk like you, when she’s been out with a total love god like me? Face it, mate, you’re not her type. Never will be. It’s not gonna happen. End of story.”

  Hoots of laughter went up as Matt finished by running his hands through his hair and striking his ‘total love god’ pose.

  Even Billy had to laugh as he shrugged, “So I take it that means hands off then?”

  Only Kerry didn’t laugh. She had seen Anna arrive behind Matt with the tray of drinks and, from that distance, she must have heard every word he’d said - though not the context. When he’d finished, she moved in, placed the tray quietly on the table and walked away. Kerr
y raced after her.

  “Anna! Anna!” she called as her friend pushed the Ladies’ toilet door open and dived inside. Anna turned round and Kerry saw that there were tears in her eyes.

  Her chin wobbled as she wailed, “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be so pathetic…”

  “It’s OK,” Kerry soothed, hugging her friend comfortingly. “He didn’t mean any of that, it was just a joke.”

  “Don’t you believe it, Kerry,” said Anna, sniffing and angrily wiping the tears from her cheeks. “I’m not stupid. Something’s been going on ever since Gabrielle came back on the scene.”

  “What do you mean?” Kerry asked, a little bewildered by the normally serene Anna’s outburst.

  “Oh, I don’t know,” sighed Anna. “I keep trying to convince myself that it’s all innocent and that I’m over-reacting. Then something like this happens and I realise that I’m not. And what’s even worse is that then I keep thinking about what happened between him and that Trudie girl while he was in Ibiza…”

  “Anna, you know that was all a misunderstanding,” Kerry soothed. “She came on to him and Matt gave her the brush-off…”

  “I know, but it only makes me realise what a good-looking guy he is and how loads of girls must fancy him… and then I get to wondering whether Gabrielle’s still interested. I mean, why did she ask Nick for a job in the first place?”

  “Come on, Anna,” said Kerry incredulously, leading Anna to a rickety chair and sitting her down. “Matt’s so into you. He hasn’t been interested in anyone since you got together, truly.”

  “That’s what I keep telling myself,” Anna moaned. “But Gabrielle’s different. She’s the one who changed him. She’s got a hold over him and I keep wondering if he’s still a bit in love with her… Maybe he just took up with me on the rebound.”

  “Anna, he didn’t. Really, he didn’t,” said Kerry gently. “Matt adores you, you only have to look at him when he’s with you to see that. Or even hear him talk about you. I can’t believe he’s still interested in Gabrielle. Maybe he’s just being friendly and nice and showing her there aren’t any hard feelings between them. And you know Matt, he probably doesn’t even realise how it seems to you.”

  “I guess that could be it. But then I wonder if Gabrielle’s regretting dumping him. After all, she’s older now, and they do get on so well. You know they do.”

  “Does she know you two are together?”

  Anna shrugged. “I haven’t told her.”

  “Because…?”

  “Because I didn’t want to make an issue of it. I didn’t think it would matter whether she knew or not.”

  “But you do now?”

  Anna nodded. “Oh, yes. And OK you’re right, I may be completely wrong about them, but it doesn’t stop me from being as jealous as hell.”

  CHAPTER 15

  ONLY HALF THE STORY

  Ollie got off the train at Euston station and pulled his day return ticket and London Street Atlas from his jacket pocket. He walked past the unmanned ticket barriers, slipped the ticket back into his pocket and headed for the Underground.

  Forty minutes later he emerged into bright sunshine in Notting Hill. He immediately began looking for a street sign to get his bearings, then squatted down and began studying the area on the map. Natasha’s flat wasn’t far from the station and he began walking.

  Ollie felt relieved when he found the road Natasha lived in, lined with three-storey Victorian terraces. The door to her block was in need of a new coat of paint, but what doors weren’t in this street? He pressed the buzzer to 19C and waited. He knew Natasha was expecting him; he’d been very specific about when he would arrive, knowing that his sister could be a bit scatty about arrangements when the mood took her.

  When no one answered, Ollie buzzed again, this time more persistently. Natasha’s flatmates were out - he was sure he remembered his sister saying they were working, so it was up to her to open the door. He fleetingly wondered if she’d gone off somewhere else - maybe, he panicked fleetingly, she’d got frightened here on her own and done another runner.

  Then he heard a loud scraping noise from above. Looking up, he saw that the window of the top-floor flat had been thrust open and a pair of net curtains were billowing out. Natasha’s head popped out for a few seconds and she threw down a set of keys.

  “Come on up,” she called, ducking her head back in again and slamming the window firmly shut.

  Ollie fiddled with the keys, trying to work out which ones fitted the two outside locks, then bounded up the stairs to 19C. Finding the door already ajar, he went inside just as Natasha came out of the living room to meet him.

  You look like you’ve been through it, OIlie thought as his sister threw her arms around him and buried her head in his shoulder. He stood hugging her, saying nothing, just stroking her hair, holding her close.

  “Thanks for coming,” she said finally, breaking away and looking up at him, her big almond eyes welling with tears. She wasn’t wearing make-up and OIlie could plainly see the dark, almost black, circles under her eyes, contrasting alarmingly with the ashen colour of her skin. He had to say something.

  “You look terrible.”

  “I know. I’ll make us a coffee.” She led him from the hallway into the kitchen and began gathering mugs and sugar together, while OIlie looked on, still shocked by her appearance.

  “How are Mum and Dad?”

  “They’re fine, really well.”

  “Do they know you’re here?”

  “Yeah, they know I’m visiting you, but they don’t know why - I told them your contract had finished early.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Are you here on your own?” he asked.

  “Uh-huh. The other three girls I share with are out all day.”

  “They’re out modelling?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Do they know you’re back - the agency?”

  “Yeah, I rang them yesterday. I had to really, a taxi was supposed to be picking me up from the flat in Milan at 8.30 this morning.”

  “So were they angry?”

  Ollie took the coffee Natasha handed him and followed her into the living room, where she sat in an armchair and immediately lit up a cigarette. She didn’t answer. Instead, she picked at a chip on her mug with her fingernails and took drag after drag on her cigarette, inhaling the smoke, then slowly blowing it out.

  “I think ‘livid’ would be a more accurate expression,” she said finally, an ironic smile on her lips. “I’ve unplugged the phone or I’m sure they would have been back on to me, cancelling my contract.”

  “Is that what you think they’ll do?”

  “Undoubtedly.”

  “How does that make you feel.”

  “Relieved.”

  “So why are you crying?”

  Big, fat tears rolled slowly down Natasha’s cheeks as she spoke. “Because my whole life is completely messed up.”

  “How can you say that?” OIlie asked. “You’re only eighteen, for God’s sake.”

  “Exactly. How many people have had the opportunities I’ve had? Travelled the world, stayed in top hotels, been treated like royalty. And thrown it all away…”

  “Is that what you’re doing then? Throwing it away?”

  Natasha sighed and took another long, hard drag on her cigarette. “I’m not sure. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I want any more, Ol. I only know that I’m sick of being pushed around, told what to do and forced into doing things I don’t agree with.”

  “Such as?”

  She didn’t answer.

  OIlie put his coffee down and sat on the floor next to his sister. Taking hold of her hand he looked at her earnestly. “What’s been going on, Tash? Why has it suddenly got to you so badly? What’s changed?”

  “Everything’s changed, Ol. Everything.”

  “Like what?”

  Natasha sat staring into space for a while, saying nothing. OIlie still held her hand, not wanting to push a
ny further, waiting for her to speak. When she did, her voice was controlled, as though she was choosing her words very carefully.

  “I suppose it all started going wrong when I got to Milan,” she explained. “The girl they put me up with seemed to hate me on sight…”

  “Is she a model too?” Ollie asked.

  “Uh-huh. She’s with the same agency as me. Anyway, as soon as I moved in there she went out of her way to make my life hell. She went in my room, rooting around when I wasn’t there. Some of my things went missing - clothes, make-up, even a shoe.”

  “What? Just the one shoe?”

  “Yeah, bizarre, eh? I found it in the bottom of her wardrobe. And, if ever anyone rang and left a message for me, she never passed it on. It was horrid.”

  “So did you say anything to her?”

  “I tried but she denied it. She insisted I must be mistaken then refused to discuss it any more.”

  “Do you know why she was doing it?”

  “She was jealous of me. I don’t want to sound big-headed, but she was. I think she was struggling to get work. She knew that she was about to be dropped from the agency and she hated the fact that I’d come over and was, as she said, taking jobs that would have gone to her. At first I felt quite sorry for her. She hadn’t got many assignments and seemed to spend most of her time going out at night drinking, and I’m pretty sure she was doing drugs. That was the worst thing. I tried to suggest she got some help but she said I should keep my nose out and that it was none of my business…”

  “So was she the one who was pushing you around?”