Sugar Secrets…& Rivals Page 7

“Well, she only left me a load of money in her will. Enough for a couple of round-the-world tickets, plus a bit left over. So you don’t have to worry about that at all!”

  Elaine paused a second to see the effect of her words, before continuing. “And once we’re out there we could both get jobs in whatever country we’re in. There’s always bar work or fruit-picking or something - we could do anything if we set our minds to it. And anyway, what have you got to keep you here?”

  “Well, there’s my jobs at the café and the record shop…”

  “What, a couple of grotty jobs in the dullest of towns and absolutely nothing to look forward to? Come on, Ollie! You could work in a café anywhere in the world and get to see all those great places as well. So what do you say?”

  Elaine’s cheeks were flushed and her eyes sparkling. Ollie could see that she was really fired up over this one, and he had to admit that she was painting a very attractive picture for him.

  It was just such a shock announcement out of the blue, and an offer he wouldn’t have dreamed would come his way in an entire lifetime.

  “I, uh, I’m a bit gobsmacked to be honest, E,” Ollie finally responded. “It sounds brilliant, it really does. But it’s such a big thing, I really ought to give it some serious thought. I can’t say yes just like that. I mean, there’s a lot to consider. Anyway, what about you and university? What about your parents? What have they got to say about it?”

  “Mum’s dead jealous. She says it was what she’d have liked to do if she hadn’t got pregnant with me so young. And uni can wait. They’ve already said they’ll defer my place for a year so that’s not a problem at all.”

  “So, uh, when are you thinking of going?”

  “As soon as I can get the tickets and visas and injections and all that stuff sorted. I suppose realistically it’ll be in a month or so.”

  “And if I decide not to come?”

  “Then I’ll go anyway. Seriously. Look, Ollie, I’m eighteen, I’ve got my whole life ahead of me, but at this present moment I have no ties.”

  Elaine’s voice became very earnest as she squeezed Ollie’s arm. “This is absolutely the best time to do it, you know - there’s nothing to keep me here. Only you. And that’s why I want you to come with me.”

  “Aw, that’s really sweet,” Ollie answered, hugging her even closer. “I am tempted. And it really is lovely of you to offer to pay for the ticket. Maybe my parents would help stump up some more cash…” He trailed off and they continued to walk in silence, wrapped up in their thoughts of faraway places.

  “Y’know,” Ollie carried on after a while, “it’d be so cool to be able to look back on your life and say you’d been to all those countries that most people only get to dream about. You’d have so many new experiences to tell people about. In some ways it’d be really weird coming back to Winstead after so much had happened to you while you were away, and yet nothing had changed when you got back. It’d be like re-entering a time warp.”

  “Who’s to say we would come back, Ollie?” Elaine smiled, then looked seriously at him. “Who knows what might happen? We might find we love a place so much that we want to stay there… you know, get jobs, invent new lives for ourselves. We might not ever want to come back home.”

  CHAPTER 14

  WILL HE, WON’T HE?

  Ollie was troubled. He had been ever since Elaine had left on Monday morning. Now, sitting in his room above The Swan, he was even more anxious.

  Initially, he had been intrigued by the prospect of going off travelling with Elaine. But when she had started going on about not coming back to this country and ‘inventing new lives’ for themselves - well, that had put a different slant on things.

  It wasn’t only the thought of not seeing his friends and family again that worried him, it was the fact that Elaine seemed to be assuming that they would be spending their lives together - as a couple. It wasn’t something Ollie had ever considered before. He and Elaine got on well - they really did - but he wasn’t in love with her. Never had been - hadn’t thought about whether he ever would be. That was the bottom line. And that was what bothered him.

  He had been surprised by what Elaine had said. He’d always thought she’d felt the same way about him. When they first started seeing each other, she had been the one to press the fact that she was a free spirit. She was always fiercely independent, doing her own thing, going off for weekends with various ‘save the planet’ groups. Which was fine by Ollie. He was happy to go along with the no-pressure relationship.

  That was why it was all the more odd that she should now be talking about their future, of settling down in another country, together.

  Ollie wasn’t sure he was up to taking such a big risk and he would hate the idea of her shelling out for his ticket only for them to fall out half-way round the world. The guilt would be unbearable. And yet she was offering him such a brilliant opportunity. Would he be mad to turn it down?

  He was relieved when he heard his mum shouting from downstairs that there was a phone call for him. It meant he could put off thinking about this for a bit longer. He was pleased when he heard Kerry’s friendly voice at the other end of the line.

  “I was calling to see how you got on with Joe,” she explained. “I didn’t like to ask back at the river, not when the others were around. Is he OK?”

  “To be honest, Kez, I don’t know,” replied Ollie. “We ran into Catrina on the way home and she had a right go at him.”

  “Why? What happened?” Kerry sounded puzzled.

  “I’m still not sure. She was going on at him to sort his life out, really tearing into him - you know what she can be like with her opinions.” Ollie sighed. “Anyway, Joe hit back, told her to get off his case and then stormed off. I haven’t seen him since. I knocked on his door when I got back from work this evening but there was no answer.”

  “I can’t believe Cat could be so cruel! Didn’t she realise what a state he was in?”

  “I think it was seeing how bad he was that got her going,” explained Ollie. “It was weird. Then when I tried to get her to explain herself, she flounced off too. It would have cut quite a funny scene if it hadn’t been so awful.”

  “So you didn’t manage to get Joe to talk about what’s going on then?”

  “No, he was too boozed-up to be at all coherent.” Ollie sighed again. “And I feel really bad, like I’ve let him down. This must have been going on for some while for him to look so rough, but I had no idea. And I still don’t know what it’s all about.”

  “He’s not the easiest person to figure out, though, is he?” Kerry pondered, searching for the right words to make Ollie feel better. “I doubt if anyone knows what’s going on inside his head. It must be pretty bad for him to be blocking it out with drink.”

  “I know. At least now I’ve got an idea of what’s going on, I’ll make a point of trying to catch him as soon as I can,” Ollie continued. “And if you do the same, we might get somewhere. But I still think we ought to keep this to ourselves, don’t you? Cat’s a bit of a loose cannon. Maybe one of us could talk to her…”

  “I’ll give it a go. And try not to worry too much, Ol. Maybe it’s just a phase he’s going through.”

  “I hope you’re right, ‘cause I am pretty worried actually. I never realised he was so low.”

  “Yeah, I guess he really needs us now. Or at least, he needs you in particular,” said Kerry. “You’re the only one Joe ever talks to, aren’t you? I mean, really talks to. More than anyone, you’ll be the person he’s most likely to open up to.”

  “I only hope I’ll be here long enough to see him through it, that’s all,” Ollie said, though he hadn’t quite meant to voice his thoughts aloud just yet.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Elaine’s going off on a round-the-world trip. And she wants me to go with her.”

  “You’re kidding me!” Kerry was stunned.

  “Er, nope. Shocker, eh?”

  “So… so what have yo
u said? Are you going?”

  “Dunno. I’m thinking about it. I said I’d call her in the week.”

  “When would you be going?”

  “In a month or so.” Ollie could hardly believe he was talking so rationally about something he was still so up-in-the-air about.

  “Oh, Ollie, I don’t know what to say. I mean, it’s such a great opportunity, but so soon? I can’t believe it.”

  “Neither can I really. I guess I’ve got a lot of thinking to do in the next day or so.”

  Kerry came away from the conversation feeling absolutely shell-shocked. With Sonja treating her as if she didn’t exist any more and Ollie thinking about leaving Winstead - no, more than that, the country - it felt as if she was losing her two best friends at once.

  CHAPTER 15

  A BAD DAY FOR KERRY AND JOE

  Whenever Kerry was depressed she shopped. And today she was indulging in a huge spending bender in an attempt to cheer herself up. So far, although she was laden down with New Look, Miss Selfridge and HMV bags, and had blown all the money she’d been saving for a new CD player, it wasn’t working.

  However much she tried, she couldn’t get the events of the last few days out of her mind. It had got to the point where she felt she was going around with a permanent frown on her face.

  First, there was all this stuff with Sonja. Kerry had deliberately avoided going anywhere near her since the picnic by the river when Sonja had made it blatantly obvious that she didn’t want to talk to Kerry.

  jEven Natasha had looked bemused at one point, as if she was wondering what was going on between the two (former?) best friends.

  And Maya had definitely noticed something was up. She had discreetly asked Kerry if she was all right and Kerry had insisted that she was. (The last thing she wanted was the analytical Maya organising an immediate discussion group so that they could thrash out any differences.)

  Kerry had come to the conclusion that if she wasn’t such a wimp she would have phoned Sonja by now to demand an explanation. But Kerry knew she didn’t have the guts to do that, hence the avoidance tactics. And as far as she was concerned, it wasn’t up to her to force the issue. Sonja was the one in the wrong here and it was down to her to realise that and make amends.

  What made Kerry feel even worse was the nagging suspicion that Sonja didn’t miss her at all. You would have thought that it would be hard to forget so many years of friendship, but seeing as Sonja hadn’t even bothered to call Kerry recently, it was obvious that their relationship meant less to Sonja than it did to Kerry.

  Niggling away in the back of Kerry’s mind was the thought that maybe Sonja would follow Natasha to London to become a model. Then what? What chance would their friendship have of surviving such a distance and life-style change? The idea made Kerry even more miserable.

  Kerry was also really worried about Joe. In many ways, Kerry identified with him. He was quiet, like her, and he sat on the fringes of the group, rather than being in the thick of it. Kerry felt she was like that, too - an outsider looking in, rather than a fully-fledged gang member.

  She understood Joe’s shyness and his awkwardness. She tried to imagine what was happening in his life to make him turn to alcohol and was desperate to help him in whatever way she could. It was tragic seeing him looking twice his age, so drawn and haggard, the shy smile replaced by a vacant expression.

  And finally, there was the bombshell from Ollie. Kerry had tried to imagine life without Ollie countless times since his news. And each time she got more depressed.

  Ollie was by far her closest male friend. The prospect of not seeing his lovely, smiley face, or hearing his cheerful optimism on almost any subject, didn’t bear thinking about. She would even miss hearing him singing or playing sax in The Loud when they practised at the back of The Swan, which showed how much she cared about Ollie as they often weren’t very good.

  Kerry didn’t think she’d ever meet another guy like Ollie. She sometimes felt they were soul mates, though she’d never admitted that to anyone.

  Losing him would be like losing a limb.

  Kerry traipsed around the Plaza shopping centre for a while longer, her mood deteriorating with every step. Then, just as she was rounding a corner to go into What She Wants, she caught sight of Sonja and Natasha.

  Arms linked, laden down with bags from trendy shops, they were strolling along and laughing together, as if they’d been best friends for ever. It was just too much for Kerry to bear. She turned on her heel and began hurrying the other way.

  But the sudden flurry of movement caught Sonja’s eye and she spotted Kerry hotfooting it in the opposite direction.

  “Hey, Kez!” she called out.

  Kerry ignored her. She wasn’t going to let Sonja Harvey see the tears streaming down her face.

  Joe felt much better than he had for quite some time. He put this down to the fact that he hadn’t touched a drink for a couple of days. Not since Catrina had so bluntly brought it home to him just how bad he looked. That and the fact that he’d felt ten times worse on the inside had brought him to his senses.

  Once he’d made a conscious decision to lay off the booze, the combination of resolve, self-will and not going anywhere near Henry’s had helped him along the way. The knowledge that he hadn’t found it too difficult to abstain convinced him that he was by no means an alcoholic and that he could turn this phase in his life round, if he was determined enough.

  But it was like walking on shards of glass. A painful mental tussle of epic proportions continually fought itself out in his head. As long as he remained hopeful about himself and his life, he was OK. But as soon as he let any doubt in, he could almost see the invisible wall of optimism he had built begin to crumble.

  For a person who always saw the glass as half empty rather than half full, retaining a positive outlook was no mean feat. Joe was managing it so far by having little projects to look forward to. Ollie had mentioned The Loud playing a gig in a month or so which Joe was hugely enthusiastic about.

  He had even started writing a new song for Ollie to sing. It was a smoochy ballad, something he hadn’t tackled before, and it was all about Kerry. One day he would sing it to her himself, when he knew she felt the same way about him.

  He was whistling the chorus of Kerry’s song and walking towards Nick’s Slick Riffs where he thought he might catch up with Ollie, when he saw Kerry coming towards him.

  This is fate. Joe thought. His face broke into an involuntary smile as he watched her rushing up the street, bags of shopping weighing her down. And his stomach flipped excitedly when she noticed him too and gave him a big smile.

  “Hello. Joe,” she said warmly. “That’s funny, I was only thinking about you a few moments ago.”

  ‘Wh-what?” Joe could hardly believe what he was hearing. Kerry was thinking about him? Wow!

  “yeah,” she continued, unaware of the effect those few words had on his heartbeat. “I was wondering how you were. Y’know, after… the other day.”

  “Oh, yeah, that,” Joe said, a little disheartened. He didn’t need reminding of Sunday; it had been the real low point in his life so far.

  To be caught red-handed in a drunken stupor by the two people he cared about most was pretty humiliating.

  It had been another reason for quitting that scene.

  “Yeah, I, uh… I’m really sorry, Kerry. You know, that you had to see me like that. I was pretty out of it.”

  “You look heaps better now though, almost back to your old self.”

  This was in fact a lie. Joe still looked pretty rough, but Kerry guessed he didn’t need to hear that right now. At least he seemed capable of stringing a sentence together.

  “I guess I’ve been letting things get on top of me recently. Kind of went off the rails for a while.” Joe raised his eyebrows and gave her a shy smile, which Kerry found rather touching.

  “We had no idea, Joe. Are you OK now, though?” Kerry wasn’t going to push the subject - if Joe wanted to c
onfide in her that was great; if not, well that was his business.

  “Back on track, I guess,” he replied, scuffing the toe of his DM on the concrete paving slab he was studying. He wasn’t ready to spill his guts to Kerry. He figured it would be a long time before he could do that.

  “Good, great,” she went on. “Where are you off to now?”

  “I was going to look in on Ollie. We’ve got a gig coming up and I wanted to go through a few things with him - y’know, rehearsals and things.”

  “So what do you think about Ollie’s news?” she asked, forcing a smile.

  Joe looked at her blankly. “Huh? Sorry?”

  “It’s so exciting, isn’t it? Going off around the world, not knowing which country you’ll be sleeping in next,” babbled Kerry, disguising the pain she was feeling with false enthusiasm. “It’ll be such a great experience for him and Elaine. I’m dead envious.”

  “What? What are you talking about?”

  Kerry watched Joe’s face crumple in front of her. Then the penny dropped. He didn’t know.

  “Oh, Joe, I’m sorry! I thought Ollie must have told you,” Kerry spluttered, realising that she’d stuck her foot in it. “I, uh, guess he hasn’t yet.” She didn’t know what else to say.

  “Uh, no, I… guess not,” Joe replied slowly. He was devastated by this information.

  Ollie was going travelling with Elaine? Leaving Winstead? For how long - months, years? And Ollie hadn’t even bothered to tell him. Why? Didn’t Ollie consider him a worthy enough friend any more? Didn’t he care? Did anyone care?

  Kerry’s mind was racing too. Why hadn’t Ollie told Joe? Then she remembered Ollie saying he hadn’t seen Joe, how he’d knocked on his door the other evening after work, but Joe hadn’t been there. They obviously hadn’t seen each other since.

  Kerry opened her mouth to speak, but Joe was already half-way down the road.

  “Joe? Joe!” Kerry called after him.

  Joe didn’t answer. He started to run. Away from Kerry. Away from Ollie. Away from this dull, stupid, worthless life.